I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You pole danced in your parka.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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