He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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