Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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