What did we do last night that was yellow?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
