Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i believe in u and ur pee
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize