glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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