Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize