Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
