I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
