I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
