I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
