I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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