no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
