When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
