I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
