sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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