Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
