If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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