Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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