We're facebook friends in real life
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
