There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
