Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize