Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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