i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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