I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
