ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
