I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need moral support for this bender
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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