Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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