Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
