he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
