Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
