She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
