just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
