dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Me too!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
