Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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