I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
