i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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