Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You smell like stripper and shame
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize