There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
