so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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