i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
