An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
