Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
