your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
