reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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