WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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