My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
