Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
