I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
