sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
