Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
