Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
