This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
