Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize