you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
