whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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