Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
